5 Lies that women tell me

5 Lies that women tell men(Thinkstock photos/Getty Images)

Here's a little help for men to figure out when their gal isn't being completely honest with them. Our tips help to decode female behaviour...

Though a recent study claims that a woman's face is like an open book that reveals her state of mind, but men need to beware!

Better not take it as the last verdict, for irrespective of how much you trust and adore your little angel, women do lie to their significant others at times.

Sometimes to carry off a situation without hurting his feelings or to save herself from trouble, while on occasions to contain her emotions and pose as Ms. Goody...popping casual, white lies is no big deal for women when it comes to playing it safe in the relationship.

White lies are no big blunders or massive betrayals, but small lies or 'truth manipulated' to handle a situation. At times she might fib to make her man feel better, to avoid a fight, or an embarrassing situation.

Here's a little help so that men can figure out when their adorable darling is not speaking her heart out and help them handle the situation with care...

Lie #1: "Oh! It's fine. I'm OK"
Guards on guys! You must know that she's not fine at all and nothing is OK. And sooner or later you will have to bear the burnt of her pent up emotions that she has somehow managed to hold back until now. You'll find her taking this emotional defense on occasions when you may have forgotten her birthday, taken her for granted or have done anything that hurts her.

"Whenever my girlfriend lets go off my not so fatal error with a cool 'it's fine', I know it's nothing but the calm before a cyclone that I am fated to face in the time to come," shares Sandeep Sharma, a Delhi-based management student.

To portray that she doesn't care, the emotional lady prefers taking a refuge in this lie. Charu Marwah, a software engineer admits, "I prefer staying that 'It's OK' because if I react I'll be blamed of being a constant cribber, who is in complaining mode always. Though, I actually want him to go down on his knees and plead forgiveness."

Lie detector: Well, an experienced lover would know of the crime that he has committed, but the amateurs should look out for her reactions. She might not get vocal, but will do everything to make you feel guilty about the fact that you have hurt her. From being tight-lipped to giving the briefest responses that don't go beyond 'hmms, huhs or yes and no', to mean tones and loads of sarcasm - are a few hints that you can look out for. "Women have a tendency of expecting their man to understand the said, as well as the unsaid, and that leaves men in a dicey situation. And even here, by keeping quite or going away with a small 'I'm fine', she expects him to know that she's hurt," explains psychologist, Dr. Aruna Broota.

Lie # 2: "I love you for what you are"
...and I don't want you to change. Well, may God be your saviour if you believe her for this. No wonders, if sheer pampering or impressing you might strictly be on her mind when she's saying this. "I just loved my wife whenever she averred this phrase. But gradually the knick-picking started and reality dawned upon me. At times it was my eating choice that bugged her, while at others it was my dressing style that she wanted to improve. Yet she continued to tell the blatant lie that she loved me for what I was," complained Madhukar Suhas, a Mumbai-based advertising professional.

Agreed, that you don't like this lie. But just imagine how it would feel if on your face she told you much she hated your paunch or how bad you looked in those lose-fitted denims. Thank her appreciating you taking care of your confidence levels.

"What do I do? I have to blow his trumpet when he does the right thing. After all, it was his qualities only that I married him for. And also, it becomes important to boost his confidence at times and those words just have the right impact," says Madhu Chandra, a Delhi-based-teacher.

Lie detector: If you start observing the occasions when she backs this mushy phrase, you might just realise she's not lying at all. On most of the occasions it comes when you have made her happy with anything like a gift, a movie, a romantic dinner or for that matter by doing anything and everything that she loves. You were good to her and that's your innate quality, which made her fall for you.

Lie # 3: You stare, I don't care!
Either you are too lucky to have the coolest woman by your side, or you are getting an inflated ego without any reason if you believe her on this. No matter how hard she tries to look cool and composed, but the fact remains that no woman loves it when her man ogles at another woman. "After all, who wants to feel like second best? And the 'I don't care attitude' is usually to hide the vulnerability and a pretence. Most women hate their man staring at another woman," confesses Radhika Khattar, a Delhi-based housewife.

Lie detector: She doesn't want to show you how she's feeling and is no less desperate to tell you that you are torturing her to the core. Well, easy indications to know she's lying can be the trail of questions she'll end up asking you. Casually and candidly she'll ask you things like 'Isn't she hot?' 'What makes her so hot? 'Did you like her?' She might appear to be your best buddy, but actually she wants to ask you, 'Do I score less that the chic you are ogling at?' And your answer will decide your fate not immediately, but definitely in the future, so better beware of what you say!

Lie # 4: Your friends are cool!
This might not be a lie always, but many a times your friends are nothing but a 'passion spoiler' for your girl, especially when they pop up during private moments. "When we started dating, on many occasions we went out with my friends. And every time I used to ask her, 'I hope you are enjoying?' she answered, 'They're cool!' The real shock came when one day I was planning another group date and she gave me a good piece of her mind. It's then that I realised that she didn't love them as much I thought she did. But she could have initially told me," says Rajat Sarin, a 20-year-old college student.

"Most of the times women end up praising your friends for you. They don't want to hurt you by revealing the truth and hope that you'll understand without saying, which usually doesn't happen," explains psychologist, Dr Sameer Parekh.

Lie detector: A sure shot hint to the lie is written on her face. Despite being in the group she'll remain an outsider. The smile that's usually worth a million dollars might just look purely artificial and forced. Her replies to all your enquiries will end in a cover up lie, 'I'm fine sweet heart' or 'I'm enjoying myself' and that takes you to Lie #1. So, when you get something like this from your girl, understand that you are getting into too much buddy-bonding!

Lie # 5: Tell me, trust me I won't get angry
This one is tricky, leaving you with a ditch on one side and a bigger ditch on the other. This lie is usually thrown at you when she wants an honest opinion and knows what it can be, but still wants to hear it. Beware guys! Irrespective of what you say, she is going to get furious for sure. This usually happens in questions related to her looks, the food that she cooks, that tangy orange shirt she brought for you etc.

"Sometimes it is tough to handle. Once, my wife asked my honest opinion on a super tight dress that she had worn. And, I told her honestly that she was looking like a stuffed pillow and she was mad at me. Taking cues from my past experience; on another occasion I did my best to flatter her. To my sheer surprise, even that made her angry and she blamed me for not being a fair critic," complains Suraj Malhotra, a Delhi-based architect.

Lie detector: Well, there's no detector for this one, for undoubtedly she's lying. Then what's the solution? Answers Parekh, "It's not that women cannot take true criticism from their man or expect praises all the time. But what they actually expect is that criticism should come in a softer and suggestive manner, rather than a striking taunt on her looks. So, without being too critical or over flattering, just tell her that she needs to work out on her minuses."

PHEW! This was from us. Now it's your turn to share the sweet and salty white lies that you tell your man or your wife pours on you to leave you playing a guessing game of truth and false.

Sleep Issues & Heart Attack - A Good Read

Ranjan Das, CEO and MD of SAP Indian subcontinent died after a massive cardiac arrest in Mumbai on Wednesday (21-Oct-2012). One of the youngest CEOs, he was just 42 year old

What killed Ranjan Das and Lessons for Corporate India

A few months ago, many of us heard about the sad demise of Ranjan Das from Bandra, Mumbai. He was very active in sports, was a fitness freak and a marathon runner. It was common to see him run on Bandra's Carter Road . Just after Diwali, on 21st Oct, he returned home from his gym after a workout, collapse! d with a massive heart attack and died.

It was certainly a wake-up call for corporate India . However, it was even more disastrous for runners amongst us. Since Ranjan was an avid marathoner ( in Feb 09, he ran Chennai Marathon at the same time some of us were running Pondicherry Marathon 180 km away ), the question came as to why an exceptionally active, athletic person succumb to heart attack at 42 years of age.

Was it the stress?

While Ranjan had mentioned that he faced a lot of stress, that is a common element in most of our lives. We used to think that by being fit, one can conquer the bad effects of stress.

The Real Reason However, everyone missed out a small line in the reports that Ranjan used to make do with 4-5 hours of sleep. This is an earlier interview of Ranjan on NDTV in the program. Well-known cardiologist on the subject of 'Heart Disease caused by Lack of
 Sleep' have distilled the key points below in the hope it will save some of our lives.

Some Excerpts:

1. Short sleep duration ( <5 or 5-6 hours ) increased risk for high BP by 350% to 500% compared to those who slept longer than 6 hours per night.

2. Young people ( 25-49 years of age ) are twice as likely to get high BP if they sleep less.

3. Individuals who slept less than 5 hours a night had a 3-fold increased risk of heart attacks.

4. Complete and partial lack of sleep increased the blood concentrations of High sensitivity C-Reactive Protein (hs-cRP), the strongest predictor of heart attacks. Even after getting adequate sleep later, the levels stayed high!!

5. Just one night of sleep loss increases very toxic substances in body such as Interleukin-6 (IL! -6), Tumour Necrosis Factor-Alpha (TNF-alpha) and C-reactive protein (cRP). They increase risks of many medical conditions, including cancer, arthritis and heart disease.

6. Sleeping for <=5 hours per night leads to 39% increase in heart disease. Sleeping for <=6 hours per night leads to 18% increase in heart disease.

Ideal Sleep

In brief, sleep is composed of two stages: REM ( Rapid Eye Movement ) and non-REM. The former helps in mental consolidation while the latter helps in physical repair and rebuilding. During the night, you alternate between REM and non-REM stages 4-5 times.

The earlier part of sleep is mostly non-REM. During that period, your pituitary gland releases growth hormones that repair your body. The latter part of sleep is more and more REM type.

For us to be mentally alert during the day, the latter part of sleep is more important. No wonder when you wake up with an alarm clock after 5-6 hours of sleep, you are mentally irritable throughout the day (lack of REM sleep). And if you have slept for less than
 5 hours, your body is in a complete physical mess ( lack of non-REM sleep ), you are tired throughout the day, moving like a zombie and your immunity is way down.

Finally, as long-distance runners, you need an hour of extra sleep to repair the running related damage.

In conclusion:

Barring stress control, Ranjan Das did everything right: eating proper food, exercising ( marathoning! ), maintaining proper weight. But he missed getting proper and adequate sleep, minimum 7 hours. In our opinion, that killed him.

If you are not getting enough sleep ( 7 hours ), you are playing with fire, even if you have low stress.

Unfortunately, Ranjan Das is not alone when it comes to missing sleep. Many of us are doing exactly the same, perhaps out of ignorance. Please forward this mail to your colleagues/friends as possible, especially those who might be short-changing their sleep. If we can save even one young life because of this email, we would be the happiest person on earth.

Additional read at : http://articles.economictimes.indiatimes.com/2009-10-22/news/28472683_1_heart-attack-software-industry-patkai-networks


Extract from : https://groups.google.com/forum/?fromgroups=#!topic/mintamil/ORTw56NH1q0


The other side of the story : below

Sundarajan

View 1   PHILOSOPHICAL way of looking at it is...life is a journey of 100 kms...many take 70 to 80 years to cover it...guys like him does it in 42 years, then God say come back it is over...you have done it...NON-PHILOSOPHICAL why it happens...he did everything right....took care of his health, right habits, attitude, balanced life, healthy way handling stress (fitness freak...)4 hours of sleep was it sufficient...is that having a cumulative effect on his body...why no symptoms and a BREAKDOWN.....i keep wondering

View 2  Ranjan’s sister Kabita repents that he was not able to maintain his manhood
In fact, he was a “joru ka gulam” i.e. slave of wife. He always obeyed the dictates of his wife. He had hardly any bank account exclusively his own. All know accounts are joint accounts with his wife. Ranjan worked in the US from 1992 to 2007, bought two houses in San Francisco. During this sixteen years period he did not invited his family (parents & siblings) to his house. He got shifted to Mumbai in 2007. Only in August 2009 he once called his mother to his house in Mumbai for treatment, that too alone. Ranjan’s family except his mother never saw his home, though relatives from his wife’s side have been frequenting his house. His wife Rupa did not even liked Ranjan making a phone call to his family.

View 3 Ranjan was a big boss in his office but insignificant in his family affairs. In examination, fail in one subject means fail.  Ranjan would not have been killed if he had been correct in his own stand.

View 4 For some years his family life was not going smooth. His wife Rupa Barua (alias Rajashree) is extravagant in her spending. She is not a caring mother, discarded Ranjan’s primary kins. Poor fellow Ranjan had been digesting all these things. Moreover he became aware of that she has developed illicit relationship with other men. She is a big flirt. All these made him to make up his mind for divorce. There is information that he was discussing of filing divorce petition with some lawyer. Divorce compensation to wife in case of her proven infidelity is negligible. So, Rupa addicted to luxury killed him like a chicken.

Late Ranjan Das was administered some drug along with his food which caused cardiac arrest. After the cardiac arrest delays were made to take him to hospital, though Lilavati Hospital is just in the back side of his apartment. He was proceeded to hospital when he was almost dead. In the hospital Rupa coolly accepted his death. She, as a guardian turned down proposal of autopsy which as a procedure is done in case of sudden death of healthy people. Media was also bluffed. To maintain privacy or what so ever reason it was not allowed to go in detail. Simply said Ranjan Das passed away after a massive heart attack, which everyone found hard to believe


Also at : http://gpbaroowah.blogspot.in/2009/10/ranjan-das-wizard-of-corporate-sky.html

Revealed:Reasons why men cheat

Revealed:Reasons why men cheat

There are reasons galore why men pull wool over the eyes of their wives. Oftentimes, it's out of spite and neglect, while the other times, it's because they feel they will never be caught. 

What makes men cheat? Dr Kamal Khurana,relationship counselor, dug through past research on male infidelity, and has even counseled couples and has arrived at the conclusion that most answers are from the wife's point of view. Here, some of his findings: 

1. Disturbance in the marriage as the primary reason 
When there are regular fights at home with his wife, which are left unresolved, a pattern sets in wherein he continues to be unhappy and 'disturbed'. In this kind of a scenario, either he can fight or he can flee. When he looks for an affair, he is looking to flee from dealing with the issues in the marriage, and be comfortable with that 'other person'. It is telling oneself that the problems do not affect anyone and life can continue in a better way with a parallel support. 

2. Cheating men report boredom led to the affair 
Some men may find the routine of a married life to be tedious and dull. These men find it easier to shift dominance or primacy to another relationship and feel the spark outside to be a thrilling option; instead of finding ways of charging their marriage. It becomes present moment for gratification versus the hard job that they will have to do in their marriage to resolve an issue. The extra-marital relationship provides them with a readymade and fresh experience, which is appealing enough to take the risk. 

3. Cheating men love to experiment sexually 
Sex has always been and will always be an integral part of a marriage. While some men are quite content spending the rest of their lives having sex with the same wife for many years, others prefer to experiment more as a need, rather than as an option. They want to sleep with many women, many times, and therefore do not think twice before an extra-marital alliance. It perhaps makes them feel sexually powerful and more adept than others. 

4. Cheating men are emotionally dissatisfied 
When their wives are too busy with their own lives, working or bringing up children or even looking after in-laws and parents, emotionally, men are left high and dry. But men are emotionally driven beings too. They want their wives to show them that they're appreciated, and they want women to understand how hard they're trying to get things right. Most men consider it unmanly to ask for a pat on the back, which is why their emotional needs are often overlooked. Sometimes the couple may not be compatible so however much the wife may do, the man will always find something to complain about. 

It may also happen that the woman he cheats with is his co-worker or boss, someone who praises him, looks up to him, and compliments his efforts. That's another reason why it's so critical that he feel valued at home. 

5. Cheating men have a history of EMR 
Some men, in their childhood, may have witnessed cheating in their parent's marriage. This somewhere gives them a message that it is okay to cheat, even though deep inside they know this is wrong. All of us learn from our parents, so taking the risk is good enough. This acquired learning also happens through cheating resorts taken by elder siblings, neighbours, peer group and everybody who has been impacted. Sometimes as teenagers and young adults, some men have had multiple relationships, these men either intentionally or accidentally end up going back to their ex-girlfriends. The other lot goes back to their past style of having multiple relationships. It is well said, what a mind thinks, achieves. So there are females also who are either consciously or unconsciously looking for such men. 

6. Cheating men have wives who cheat 
Men also take revenge with their cheating wives, by having multiple relationships themselves. Even if their wives are guilty and come accept their extra-marital relationships, some men continue with their tricks. This is mostly done by men who don't want to forgive their spouses. 

7. Cheating men think it to be 'divorce' 
Some men are willfully adulterous and use it as a means for acquiring divorce. The law also considers adultery as a fair ground for the wife to seek a divorce. The man is cheating openly and is in a non-receptive mood, taking the wife's feelings of frustration to an all-time high. Although this percentage is less but it is there. 

8. Cheating men need to be needed 
When men feel that they are not needed by their wife anymore, they look out for some other woman, who can understand them and make them feel special. As an obvious outcome of a new relationship, they get that feeling from the other woman. And suddenly when they are showered with attention, which they haven't received in a very long time in their marriage, they toss their hands in the air and get deep into the new hot and happening relationship. 

Extract from : http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/man-woman/8-Top-reasons-why-men-cheat/articleshow/5047588.cms

7 things that ruin a perfectly fine relationship

7 things that ruin a perfectly fine relationship (Thinkstock photos/Getty Images)

From obsessing over your career to being the self-appointed change-maker in his life, you might be driving him to call it quits

There are dos and don'ts in a relationship. If you are finding the latter list of conventions more common in your behaviour, then you are most likely to meet a dead-end with your happily-everafter dream soon. Don't ruin your perfectly fine relationship with these repugnant ways. 
Stop nitpicking This is the first relationship red flag. If you pick holes about everything from what he wears to how he speaks, bear in mind nobody wants to be around a nag, and not if she is a girlfriend, for sure. You will give him the impression that he winds you up more than soothes your nerves. You may argue that he is nice, but doesn't meet the criterion of the perfect guy you always dreamt of being with. That surely doesn't give you the licence to be the change maker in his life. Preventing him from hanging out with his crazy friends, or stopping his videogame sessions in an attempt to stabilise him will one day get the better of your relationship. We suggest, give him some space and enjoy yours. 
Get a life So, your job is important to you. Good for you. However, don't let your business become the centre of all the conversation that you have with your man, unless you're facing a crisis at work and you want him to hear you out. Calling off dinner dates, being on a work call and attending to your mails while you are with your partner is extremely disrespectful. It shows that you probably are having a relationship with your job than with your guy. Relax, once you are through with the day's work, switch off. Enjoy your time with your man and maintain the sanity of your relationship. 
Hold your horses It has been a while since the two of you are dating, and you have been waiting for him to propose marriage since the day you met him. Then, you would probably be waiting for the rest of your life. Hold your horses. Learn to go with the flow. Don't go about introducing him to your parents after the second date, and invite him for family dinners after the third. That said, don't be ambiguous too. If you are serious then let him know, or else let him go. Men can gauge the difference easily when the woman is playing hard to get, or when she is playing mean games. 
Don't be silly It is okay to speak to yourself, or tell yourself that you are pretty in front of the mirror every day. But don't expose your eccentricities in front of the potential 'to-be' when you are only just six months into the relationship. You may scare him off for good. Give him the awkward gaze, but save those crazy eyes when you know him a lot better. 
Learn to trust The basis of any healthy relationship, besides love, is trust. Don't be insecure. If you are constantly wondering whom he is with or speaking to, then you, perhaps, need a reality check. Walking on thin ice is unhealthy, and not when there are feelings involved. At that rate, you will reach the shrink before you make it to the marriage registrar's office. 
Stop venting Your boss hates you, your friends envy you, your mum doesn't listen to you, you are fat, and your world is as crappy as it gets. Too bad, learn to deal with it. But don't make your partner your vent hole. No guy wants to sit with a girl and hear how round her tummy is. People want to be around happy and optimistic kinds, not someone who whinges the entire day. Before you know it, your guy will be complaining about you to his folks. And even before you realise, he probably has become the reason you are whining to others about. Stop playing the Moaning Myrtle. Occasionally, give him a patient ear too. 
Move on If you are in love with someone else, then you certainly cannot give your new relationship all that it takes. Should you find yourself in a situation like this, step back and reason out. Make it clear to your partner that you are not just that into him. Better to let him go, than cling on to someone only to make yourself feel secure and wanted. It is not fair to your partner. Be true to yourself and your feelings. Move on, and allow him too.

Extract From : http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/man-woman/7-things-that-ruin-a-perfectly-fine-relationship/articleshow/17743988.cms